Had a hard time forgetting him. Just as when i wanted to, he would appear in front of me. I don't wish to be hurt nor depressed when seeing him. I just want things to be back to normal as before.

Will i have the chance to see it? Will i give him the chance to say hi? Or will i give myself the chance to start everything a new?

All theses are unanwserable questions. We won't know what will happen later next but i hope that there might be a change or miracle would happen. I know it's hard...i guess i'm just contradicting myself.

Frankly speaking, i don't feel good when seeing him around. Can i say i'm avoiding him? Or just mere concidence that we always didn't talk to each other..as we're working different sides most of the time. The word avoiding is very scary. I'm very scared when i mention this word, just don't know why.

For now i just hope that everything would fall back as before. Just like the 1st day i met him..when was his 1st call in my ward. Still can remember that he was slow at reviewing my patients and clerking new cases. But anyway, without that, i don't think i'll start to notice him. His gentleness and caring to the kids really draw my attention to him..and thus feelings developed.

But now i don't ask for more. Let's just be friends like before. I would be happier then.